


She Couldn't

by saintsfan165



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Azula (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, Azula (Avatar)-centric, Childhood Trauma, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, Future Suki/Zuko, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Lesbian Azula (Avatar), Minor Mai/Zuko, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Past Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar), Past Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Underage Drinking, Zuko's Scar (Avatar)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:41:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25807558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saintsfan165/pseuds/saintsfan165
Summary: "No matter what you think you did wrong(Won't be long till everybody knows)She knew she had to go all along"- She Couldn't by Linkin ParkAzula leaves when she realizes everyone leaves her anyways. After coming out to her family, things take a turn for the worst as Azula decides to leave and get away from everyone. It takes years but she still hasn't figured herself out, but that all changes when she meets her beautiful little niece and rekindles what she once had with her friends and family.
Relationships: Azula & Izumi (Avatar), Azula & Mai (Avatar), Azula & Ty Lee (Avatar), Azula & Ursa (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Ty Lee/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 60





	She Couldn't

**Author's Note:**

> So this is based off of my Zuki Week 2020 Day 3: Modern AU fic. 
> 
> This is the story of how Azula deals with her sexuality, her poor decision making skills, her friendships, her family, and ultimately, her happiness.
> 
> TW for suicide attempts, self destructive tendencies, even sexuality and mentally challenged based derogatory terms (thanks ozai you're terrible) that the writer condemns 100% but since Ozai is so terrible it was something he would say. Please do not think that I would ever use slurs like that. I felt gross just typing it. And also child abuse (cus you suck Ozai and we hate you!).

Azula hated everyone. No one could be trusted, not even her father who she knew favored her above all else. Yes Zuko was a failure, but that didn't mean he deserved to be burned. Humiliated, yes, disinherited, most certainly, but physically scarred for the rest of his life was not something she thought her father was capable of doing to someone he claimed to love. She couldn't trust Uncle because he corrupted and stole Zuko. Couldn't trust Zuko because he didn't come back for her. He chose Mai. She couldn't trust Mai because she chose Zuko over her. And she couldn't trust Mother because she left them to the deranged upbringing by their father. She started this entire thing by leaving her and Zuko alone with a madman. Even before she left, she chose Zuko over her.

But not Ty Lee.

Ty Lee was always there for her. Whenever she wanted to complain about Zuko or Father, whenever she was crying because she missed her mother. It was always Ty Lee. And Azula hated to admit that it took her years too long to admit that she loved her.

"I'm in love with you," Azula said, no louder than a whisper one night while Ty Lee comforted her. "And I'm sorry if I ever made you think I didn't."

Now Ty Lee was never one to not speak her mind, but Azula's declaration was mind boggling. For the better part of a decade, Ty Lee had harbored a crush on her best friend. She never acted on it because in truth, Azula scared her and also if she was wrong about Azula's feelings it would mean the end of their friendship. And their friendship was always important to Ty Lee. "Finally," was all that she managed to say as she guided Azula's lips to her own.

The kiss made all Azula's self doubt disappear. All the years of worrying about feelings didn't matter anymore, all that did was Ty Lee and that she felt the same.

* * *

Things changed pretty quickly after that. She came out to Zuko and Mai who had announced that they were getting married. Azula didn't understand why they decided to get married so early, but she understood the concept of wanting to spend the rest of your life with the person you love.

She still remembered the conversation she had with Zuko while Ty Lee was practically becoming their self appointed wedding planner. "What does Ozai think? Have you told him?" Azula found it strange that he called father by his first name. But of course, Zuko wouldn't consider him a father anymore now would he.

"Father won't care. I'm the favorite. He'll be happy I found love dumb dumb. I'm sure he'll be making sure that Ty Lee isn't after our fortune, but she's been around us since childhood. He'll understand." He has too, went unsaid. But both children of Ozai knew that love was not something their father cared about. Glory, power, control; that's all that matters to him.

The next person she told was Iroh. Her odd and aloof Uncle was always understanding of Zuko's inner turmoil. So why couldn't he be understanding and supportive of hers? Of course she brought both Zuko and Ty Lee, being that she was too nervous to face the man herself.

"Azula this is just wonderful. I always knew you were destined for love. What makes it sweeter is that you know your partner through and through." He said through Zuko's laptop. Apparently it was a weekly tradition for Zuko to Skype Iroh. "That's the hardest part, opening your soul to someone, completely and wholeheartedly. Isn't that right dear nephew?" Azula looked at her brother who just looked off in the distance, obviously contemplating something. But it didn't matter that much to her. He still couldn't be trusted with her secrets and feelings. He left her! Why should she try to reach out and offer her support?

The hardest to tell, she found out, wasn't her father at all, it was Mother. Ty Lee offered to go with her. "Zula, this is a big deal. You haven't seen your mother since you were nine. It's been almost ten years. Even Zuko hasn't seen her. How did you find her?" It wasn't that hard. Azula just had to contact an old friend. One of Zuko's old crushes who ended up being Azula's first. Not that she would ever tell Zuko or Ty Lee that. For a sweet and cuddly as Ty Lee was, she had a jealousy streak to match her own.

"I had an old friend, she's an investigator of sorts. And she owed me one," she explained. Ty Lee nodded even though Azula could tell she didn't fully believe her. Maybe one day she'd tell Ty Lee about Jun, but not now, not yet.

And that's how Azula found herself standing outside Mother's front door contemplating on whether or not to knock.

"Are you here for my mommy?" A young voice came from behind her. Azula turned to meet the curious amber eyes of a six year old girl who by the looks of it was just getting back from school. Azula's first thought was why the little girl was walking by herself, only to realize that a group of other kids were walking away from the house with a supposed adult chaperone. "You look just like her!" The little girl shouted. "My names-wait, are you a cat burger?"

It was cute, Azula had to admit. But she wasn't here for cute. She was here to finally confront the woman who abandoned her. "I'm no cat burglar. And yes, I'm here looking for your mother. My name is Azula Sozin."

The girl was very excited as she slowly put the clues together. "I heard her on the phone yesterday say she wasn't a Sozin any more." That struck a chord with Azula. Of course Mother no longer wanted to be part of the family, she chose to leave, to forget everything about her, even removing her own surname to fully commit to leaving them behind. Azula slunk down on the stairs leading to the front deck. "I guess she's not. Of course she's not. She hated us," Azula whispered to herself.

"Mommy said hate is a strong word and hating people is bad. My mommy isn't bad." Azula wanted to laugh, if only the little girl knew how much her Mother hated her eldest daughter. She knew she was a monster, even if she never admitted it. Still, the girl didn't seem to mind Azula's dramatics. She plopped down beside her. "My name is Kiyi. I'm six."

"And who's that?" Azula asked, noticing a doll poorly stuffed into the girls backpack. Might as well try to be nice to her half-sister.

Kiyi beamed up at Azula. "This is Kiyi!" She showed off her doll, handing it to Azula. "She goes everywhere with me otherwise she'd get into trouble."

"I thought your name was Kiyi?"

"It's so great I had to use it again!"

Azula gave Kiyi credit, that was pretty adorable. But the little slice of normalcy was ruined the second a bag of groceries hit the floor.

"Mommy!" Kiyi shouted as she launched herself over at her mother. It had been nine years, four months, twelve days, and roughly seventeen hours since she had last seen her mother. Of course Mother had audacity to say goodbye to Zuko in the middle of the night, leaving Azula to peek through the curtains as she drove away.

Azula watched as Ursa wrapped her daughter in a hug and lifted her off the ground. But Ursa's eyes never left her eldest daughter.

"Azula," Ursa said softly.

"Mother," Azula replied bitterly. Mother looked almost exactly the same as she did all those years ago, minus the few hidden grey streaks in her hair.

"Wait. Mommy is your mom too!" Kiyi excitedly shouted. "You're my sister!" She bolted from her mother's side and ran to her newfound sibling. "Mommy always said I had a sister but I couldn't meet her!"

Did mother really hate her that much? That she would keep her new daughter away from her forever?

"I guess we are," Azula answered, awkwardly patting Kiyi on the head. She had never been good with children, that was Ty Lee.

Ursa hesitantly approached. "Kiyi. Why don't you head on inside. Me and your sister need to talk. Alone, so no spying or you won't get dessert." Kiyi pouted, but complied nonetheless. "That's a good girl," Ursa said as Kiyi skipped away back into the house.

Both women stood there awkwardly, waiting for someone to say something. "She's a good girl," Ursa finally spoke.

"Must take after Zuzu then. You never thought of me as good." Azula crossed her arm and glared at her mother.

"I never thought of you as bad. I love you Azula. You're my daughter and-"

Azula scoffed. "And you left. Both of us. Do you even know what He did to Zuzu?" There was a hint of fear in her voice. While she once thought Zuko deserved his punishment for being weak, she slowly realized that it was because Father was cruel and never truly loved Zuko. So much so that Azula had started to believe that He didn't love her either. But that was foolish of her. Of course He loved her. He'd loved her more than anyone which is why He pushed her so far, forced her to the breaking point so she would come out stronger. He would understand her heart and who she chose to love. But He couldn't find out about this. Never.

"I… I've heard. Your uncle called me the night it happened, telling me to take Zuko away from your father. But I was scared. I was finally healing and was with Noren, I was too afraid to lose everything I had if I went up against Ozai." Azula wanted to believe her. She saw the guilt on her face. But it didn't matter, at the end of it all, she didn't do anything. She hid away and chose to just forget about her children. Ursa had a newer, better family. People she loved more than her and Zuko.

"And you expect me to believe that you love me. Me! When you couldn't even see your son after he was horribly… permanently, scared!" Azula didn't care if the neighbors heard or gossip spread. Her mother had to know how she felt. "I… I don't even know why I bothered coming." She stormed past her mother and tried to leave through the annoyingly picture perfect family white picket fence. Because of course they had that. Of course she lived in the simple suburbs of Hira'a, it is claimed to be one of the best places to raise kids and have a family. So why couldn't it have been her family?

"Please. Stay," Ursa begged as she tried to stop Azula from leaving. "I know I failed you before but I can be better. Just… just give me a chance."

Azula turned back to face Ursa. Her face may have shown anger as she snarled at her mother, but her eyes showed sadness as tears slowly escaped. "Why should I? You never gave me one! You thought I was a monster. You-"

"Azula I have and will always love you," Ursa said softly, stepping towards her daughter forcing Azula to take a step back.

"Stop lying to me!" She yelled at the top of her lungs causing Kiyi to open the door slightly and peak. "You think I'm a monster," she continued a lot softer than previously. More broken. "You think I'm incapable of joy. Incapable of loving. Well I'm not. I… I have someone who loves me and she'll never turn her back on me like you did!"

Without letting her mother get another word in, she stormed through the gate and hopped into her car, never looking back. She drove and drove and drove and eventually found herself at a dive bar just off the coast of the Caldera. "Would you like a drink?" A beautiful young woman asked.

Azula said nothing as she just nodded, wanting to forget everything about today. Confronting her mother was supposed to make her feel better. She was supposed to feel powerful, stronger, she was supposed to prove to Mother that she never needed her. Azula was just fine. She had father's favor and that's all that mattered. Azula didn't need anyone but herself.

"I need some I.D. love." Azula whipped out a fake without a second thought and ordered a whiskey sour and an additional shot of whiskey. The girl smiled and handed her ID back to her. "Azula's a very pretty name," the bartender said as she handed Azula a shot. Azula blushed before noticing she herself had one as well. "To happenstance."

"To the self made bitches like me!" Azula answered and clinked the glass and shot her head back as she downed the drink. She relished in the sweet burn the whiskey brought. "Another one," she demanded. After the day she had, getting drunk with a cool and pretty hot bartender was the only way to end it.

* * *

Azula doesn't remember much after that. She remembers the bartender telling her she was pretty, having a couple more drinks, agreeing to hangout with the girl after she finished her shift, following her back to her place where they drank more, and eventually making a huge mistake and fucking her. She remembers yelling out Ty Lee's name as the girls face was buried between her legs, and when she asked who Ty Lee was, her response was "no one".

Mother was right. She was incapable of loving… she was a monster.

How could she do this and betray someone whom she claimed to love?

It wasn't entirely her fault, she tried to tell herself as she drove back to her home. She was emotionally wrecked after her confrontation with her mother. She was in complete turmoil and was vulnerable. But she knew she was lying to herself. She made the choice to continue with the girl.

As she drove home she thought about what her family was doing. Zuko most likely had Mai over since Uncle was busy overseas in Ba Sing Sae for the past couple of months (not that Uncle cared that Zuko had Mai over practically every other night. They were technically engaged, even if they were only a year out of highschool). And Father wasn't ever home on weekends so he would have no clue as to where she was yesterday and why she skipped school on Friday. But first she had to come clean to Ty Lee.

"Hey!" Ty let smiled brightly as she answered the door. "You never answered last night. I guess everything went well with your mom." Quickly though, Ty Lee's mood changed. "Whoa Azula, your aura is all black. What happened?"

"I fucked up. I-" Azula was on the verge of tears. She never cried in front of people.

"Come in." Ty Lee sidestepped and opened the door further.

Azula shook her head. "I can't. You'll hate… Ty Lee I'm so sorry. I fucked up so fucking bad."

"Zula you're scaring me." Hearing her childhood nickname made her lose it even more.

"I cheated," she finally admitted. "I… I went to my mother's and confronted her. Instead of dealing with everything I ran from her and went to a bar. It was run by a nice young bartender girl and I went back to her place. I fucked her Ty, I fucked her and I cheated on you. I fucked up… please-" she cut herself off when she saw the tears in Ty Lee's eyes.

Azula remained stunned as Ty Lee failed to fight off her tears. "Ty," she reached for her girlfriend's face but she pulled away and shook her head. "Please don't hate me." Ty Lee didn't respond, just looked down sadly at the ground. "Please Ty, please… say something."

Ty Lee took a shaky breath as she tried to control her emotions. "I… I don't hate you Zula. I could never hate you." Azula didn't realize she was holding her breath in anticipation as she waited for Ty Lee to speak. "I… I hate myself. I hate that I thought you were done hurting those you loved. I hate that I was stupid enough to think you could just love and be happy." Each word shattered Azula's heart. "I think it's best you leave. I'll see you around school, but for now… I just need space."

Azula wanted to scream at Ty Lee. Call her a fool for trying to push her away. Demand that she accept her apology and realize that it was a stupid, so fucking stupid, mistake. It meant nothing to her, she was vulnerable and weak–hearing herself call her weak was all it took. Father would be so disappointed in her.

She nodded and made her way back to her car. Only she didn't go home again. Instead she found the closest bar, one she was a regular at, and prepared to drink the night away. "Four shots of fire whiskey!" She commanded as she took a seat at the bar. "Make them burn!"

It was roughly one in the morning when Azula felt a firm hand on her shoulder. "You just made a big mistake. Didn't you see the last man that put his hands on me."

"It's time to go Azula," the voice of her brother said from behind her. "You've had enough."

She shrugged off her brother's hand. "Fuck off Zuzu. I don't need your pity. I don't need anyone." Azula turned back to the bar. "Another round for everyone here!" She shouted sloppily. The other patrons cheered as the room started to spin.

"Zula," Zuko said softly as he sat down on a barstool beside her. "Ty Lee told Mai and I. I know what you did was an accident, that you didn't mean to, but Ty Lee is hurting right now. Just give her time and I know that you'll get through this. Ty Lee still cares about you and this self destructive path you're going down… we can't follow."

"I said I don't need anyone. That includes you brother!" She said sternly. She was angry at him, at herself, at Ty Lee for getting to Zuko and Mai first and making her be the bad guy. But she was the bad guy. _She's the cheater, the bully, the monster._

Zuko didn't leave, he didn't say anything, just ordered a drink with his fake ID. The bartend thought it was nice that the two siblings were sharing a drink together. "It's not every day you see twins together in a bar like this." Azula nearly laughed at his statement. She couldn't remember why they decided to go for being twins anyway. Although they were close in age, Azula being eighteen and Zuko almost twenty. Zuko of course, ordered a fire whiskey as well. It was the one thing they both knew they inherited from their father, their love for whiskey.

They sat in silence as they sipped on their drinks. Finally, Zuko decided to speak. "What was she like?" He sounded so unlike the man he had become since moving in with Iroh nearly seven years ago. He sounded very much like the thirteen year old boy who was scared of everything and everyone. Azula wasn't so sure she liked it.

"Older." Was Azula's only response.

"Was she happy?"

Azula physically tensed as she thought of Kiyi and their picture perfect little house. "I think so."

"That's good. I-I'm happy for her. If she's found peace, th-then that's good." Zuko sighed in contentment as he polished off the last of his drink, leaving a twenty dollar bill under the empty glass. "Just… come home Azula. You can stay with me at Uncle's. You can take his bed, or mine. Mai wanted to spend some time with Tom Tom l, so she at home, she has some big news to share with all of them."

Azula scoffed. "I don't need your charity. I'll find my own way home. You're weak and pathetic, saying Mother deserves to be happy. That's fucking bullshit. She deserves to suffer and live with her guilt. And if you're too stupid, ignorant, or blind to see it that way, then why do I need someone like you in my life?"

She felt Zuko's hand linger over her back, but Zuko never touched her. "I'm sorry you feel that way." Zuko turned to walk away. "Ba Sing Sae. Me and Mai are moving there after you and Ty Lee graduate." He left without looking back as Azula stared helplessly at him wanting to beg him to come back. To take her with him. But he didn't. He abandoned her, just like everyone else in her life.

* * *

Four months passed and no matter how many times she called or texted or appeared at her doorstep trying to win her back, Ty Lee gave her nothing. Four months was enough time to "process" as Ty Lee put it.

It was on what would've been their six month anniversary that things took an unexpected turn. Azula was walking around the mall, looking for something pink to go with Ty Lee's aura when she spotted her former lover walking hand in hand with someone she did not know. Azula wanted to confront her, to make a scene, but she knew if she did, she'd only push Ty Lee further away. Besides, Ty Lee always held hands with her girlfriends which up until that point only consisted of her and Mai. Even if Mai betrayed her as well by choosing Zuko. Azula was the reason they were even together! She saw how they looked at each other. It was at her party, that she threw specifically for them to get together, that they finally admitted their feelings! And yet Mai chose Zuko when it was Azula who made everything possible! But she wasn't going to dwell on the subject of Zuko and that traitor Mai. They were far away from here, they were irrelevant now.

She opted to stay in the shadows and watch Ty Lee and this mystery girl. They looked like they were having a good time. It almost looked like a date. And when the two girls walked to an unknown vehicle and Azula watched the girl leaning in to kiss her Ty Lee, she acted. She left her hiding spot and marched straight towards them. But being as far away as she was, the other girl had already gotten in her car and driven away. "What the fuck was that?" She shouted as she finally got within reach of Ty Lee.

Ty Lee jumped in fear before realizing that it was Azula behind her. "Azula? What… why are you here?"

Azula, like always, was controlling her emotions–only weaklings couldn't control themselves, and she was not weak. But the rage in her voice was prevalent. "I was at the mall looking for some… stuff. I saw you and-and that… girl on what looked like a date. But I thought it couldn't be true, Ty Lee told me she needed time."

"It was a date," Ty Lee admitted. "Lyra and I have been on a few dates actually."

Azula snapped. If she could engulf her fists in flames, the whole world would be burning with her rage. "You lied to me! You betrayed me! You think I'm a monster, don't you?" She shouted as she was nose to nose with her best friend. "Don't you!" She shouted as she pushed Ty Lee to the ground. She turned and with her left hand, punched the closest car window out of pure frustration and heartbreak, breaking the glass as well as her hand. As blood dripped from her hand, as the shards of glass protruded as she wiggled her fingers, she finally collapsed to the ground on both knees. What was happening to her? Why was everyone leaving her? Was she truly unworthy of love?

Yes she was.

And that's when she saw it. A jagged piece of glass. She knew how to use it, she saw Mother do it once before when she was a young girl. But she was better than Mother, she'd do it right. Where Mother went for her wrist, Azula would go for her throat. And she wouldn't have Zuzu around to call an ambulance like Mother did. There was no one around that loved her enough to stop her. Ty Lee no longer did. She slowly, with her only good hand, picked up the piece of broken glass and stared at it. She saw her reflection, she saw how absolutely pathetic she looked. Love wasn't worth feeling like this. Monsters needed to be destroyed. And she, Azula Sozin, was a monster.

"Azula… you're really scaring me," Ty Lee whimpered from her spot on the ground. "Please Zula… just put the glass shard down." Azula barely heard her as she stared into the reflection in the glass shard. Ty Lee pulled out her phone and dialled 911. "I need an ambulance. My friend, she's hurt and not in her right mind. I'm at the Caldera City Mall, in the parking lot structure, level three. Please hurry." Ty Lee prayed beyond hope that they'd arrive in time. She wasn't sure she was strong enough to get through to Azula.

_"Azula, I have and will always love you."_  
_"I'm sorry you feel that way."_  
_"I… I hate myself. I hate that I thought you were done hurting those you loved."_  
_"Your mother and brother are weak. But you, my Azula, are strong. You will bring me great honor! You will be powerful and feared. Love is for fools!"_

The glass was calling to her. It had to be easier than living with this pain, this confusion. "Azula… please. Set the glass down." Azula watched as Ty Lee's hands were placed over hers. "Just set it down. You don't have to do this. Don't hurt yourself for me."

"But you think I'm a monster too."

"I don't think that. Azula, I love you. You're my best friend. I don't think you're a monster, I could never," Ty Lee reassured her. Azula felt the pressure on her hand increase as Ty tried to pry her hand free of the shard. "Please Azula," Ty Lee begged. The faint sound of sirens grew louder.

"You're a liar. She pulled her hand free from Ty Lee's grasp. Ty Lee yelped in shock as the glass sliced her hand. "You betrayed me too!" And with one quick sleight of hand the shard found its way to her throat. But Ty Lee was faster. She reached her cut hand out, covering Azula's throat and intercepted the shard, truly slicing open her hand. She cried in agony as she pulled her hand away and Azula sliced a small cut on her throat. It would leave a scar.

The last thing Azula saw before the darkness overtook her was the sight of Ty Lee crying, holding her hand as the red and blue lights grew brighter.

The first thing Azula noticed when she woke was a blinding white light, hearing the muttering of several voices. As she started to rise, a hand grabbed her shoulder and gently pushed her back down. "Zula. Lie down," Zuko gently commanded. "Just rest."

The next thing she saw was the red on Zuko scar. It really was him. He really came. "Zuzu," she said hoarsely. Zuko recognized the sound and reached for the glass of water on the bedside table. She guzzled it down like it was the nectar of the gods.

Zuko opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by a deeper, most menacing voice. "Hmm. The pathetic weakling coming to corrupt your sister some more?" She watched as Zuko froze for a split second, but rose to face Father.

"No. I'm here because my sister needs help."

"My daughter needs nothing from you. This is yours and that damn meddlesome brother of mine's doing." Ozai still hadn't moved from the door. "Now as I recall only family is allowed in. Seeing as you've been banished from the family… leave us. Now"

"No," Azula said weakly. Her throat still hurts from where she nicked it.

"What was that?" Ozai fumed. For the first time in eighteen years she had seen the look of disgust that was reserved for Zuko, placed on her. "Did you say something?"

Zuko gave Azula a nod, letting her know he'd be right outside. "No Father."

Ozai straightened his suit. "As I thought. Now leave us."

Zuko left without another word, but before he did, he placed a doll on Azula's bed. Azula went to look at it and noticed it was Kiyi. Mother was here. She started to smile and think that maybe Mother did care, but was immediately stopped by Ozai. "You're better than this Azula. So what happened?"

"Is Ty Lee okay?"

Ozai shook his head in disappointment. "Your little friend is fine. She's not pressing charges either. I made sure of it." Azula's stomach dropped, she felt sick.

"Father… you didn't… force her did you?"

Ozai chuckled darkly. "No. This wasn't like that time with that psycho boy and your brother. She was more worried about you, and I mentioned that you wouldn't be doing well if you found out she was going to press charges. Well she didn't like the idea of you being worse off then you are now." Azula breathed a little easier knowing that Ozai didn't threaten her.

"Now. I demand to know why you're acting like a child."

"I was upset. Ty Lee upset me and I didn't handle it well. It was a mistake. I won't let it happen again."

Ozai smirked. "Good. Because I told your little friend that she is never to see you again. It's better this way. You have so much potential and I can't let anything or anyone come between that. It is your destiny to one day run the company."

Azula's heart was crushed by her father's actions. How could he do this to her? "But father. You can't-"

Ozai held up his hand to silence her. "I have and it's done. She will no longer besmirch you or the Sozin name."

"But I love her!" Azula shouted, straining her throat.

"Friends come and go Azula. Love is for the weak. Even love for a friend does so, just look in the mirror." Ozai was irritated. She could tell by the blood vessel emerging on his forehead.

"No Father. I…" this was it. This was her moment. It was where she told her Father about who she was. He'd listen to her declaration and he'd understand why she needed Ty Lee in her life. "I love Ty Lee. I… I'm gay and I love her… and she loves me. We-"

She didn't get to finish her sentence, for Ozai slapped her across the face with one of his gloves. "No you're not. How dare you! Do you know what that would do to the family's image? It would ruin us. Destroy our legacy, your legacy. Is that what you want? To destroy everything your father, your grandfather, and even your great-grandfather himself created! No daughter of mine is a filthy, lowlife faggot. I will not let my child be a fucking carpet munching dyke." Ozai turned away from her, for fear that he might actually kill his daughter out of sheer anger and disappointment. He didn't need authorities poking around his life again. Not after his useless son thought he was man enough to confront him. "It's a good thing I filed a restraining order between you and that retarded bimbo of yours. That will teach you not to be a fucking fag."

Azula couldn't control her feelings any longer, the tears just came, and they weren't going to stop anytime soon. Before she could even lie that she wasn't weak and she was just in shock, Ozai's backhand found her cheek. "Stop your whining." Ozai sighed and slumped into the chair that Zuko had been sitting in.

Zuko… he had to have heard that. Zuzu still cared about her, otherwise he wouldn't have come. Right? Just as she questioned Zuko's love for her, a pounding came from the door. "Everything okay?"

Ozai looked at her and towards the door with malice. There was an understanding between them. She kept her mouth shut and Father wouldn't unleash his fury on Zuko. "I'm fine Zuz-Zuko. Go away!" She faked. More than anything, she wanted her brother and her best friend to break down the door and save her. But this wasn't a fairy tale that Mother used to read to her. Instead Zuko simply said 'alright' and went back to doing whatever he was doing.

"Smart move child. Would hate to burn you like I did to that pathetic brother of yours." Ozai sighed frustratedly. "Clearly you've lost yourself. You've gotten out of control. I'll call my lawyers and have them freeze your accounts." Azula tried to speak again, but Father raised his backhand once more so she shut up. "I'll call the family doctor and have him evaluate your mental health. We'll find a nice place for you to recover. To fix you."

Azula knew what he was saying. She was going to go to some fancy private mental health hospital where they would electroshock her until she would say she doesn't love women anymore.

She knew what she had to do. She had to leave. She couldn't go one with this life. She'd graduated high school and father hadn't discovered her second credit card that she created to look like a company card. He doesn't go through them, and the man she paid off won't bat an eye to her expenses.

She'd leave and she wouldn't tell anyone where she was going.

* * *

Azula was a few weeks from turning twenty one years old when she found herself standing in front of the last place she'd ever think of going.

The Jasmine Dragon was located in the heart of Ba Sing Sae and Azula had to admit, it was everything it was hyped up to be. Just by looking at it, she could tell just how much work and love her uncle put into the place. In the two years she'd been away, she'd deleted all of her social media, gotten a fake ID with a fake name, and gotten a new number so no one could ever reach her or find her. For almost five years she had moved from one city to the next, taking freelance jobs in accounting or bookkeeping, something her fake transcripts said she majored in. If she was going to hide from her father, then she had to be well prepared. She was Azula, she was always well prepared.

"Welcome to the Jasmine Dragon. What can I do for you this evening?" A cheerful girl with slightly disheveled hair asked. Azula looked down at her name tag and read; Jin.

"Uhh, is Iroh in?" She asked, nervous and unsure. It was very non-Azula. But then again, she hadn't been Azula Sozin in a very, very long time. No, now she was Lin.

Lin was kind and courteous. Lin had a slight attitude and wasn't afraid to sass her co-workers who didn't do their job. Lin liked to go to bars on weekends with her co-workers and cheer on the local highschool sports team. Lin also believed in true love. Lin would always try to convince her co-workers that their current significant other was the one. Line would tell them of her failed relationship and how she'd never be able to love again. To not mess up like she did.

Overall, Lin was boring. Lin was safe.

"Oh you must be the new interview. Yes just go straight in and up the stairs. He'll meet you there." Jin said with a smile.

Lin was looking for a new job, having just moved to Ba Sing Sae. She had a nice, safe, life in Gaoling, but she needed help. Azula needed help. And Iroh was always there for Zuko. Hopefully, he'd still think she was worth saving.

The five minutes she sat there in Iroh's office were the longest of her life. What if he saw her there and called Father? What if he turned his back on her? What if he hated her for leaving?

"Thank you so much for meeting me so late in the afternoon Ms. Kazai." Iroh's voice brightened the entire room as he entered the room from behind where she sat. "I do apologise for my tardiness. My nephew needed advice on how to get a special someone into bed."

Azula wanted to gag. Zuko called Iroh for sex advice. Just plain gross. Iroh was holding what Azula assumed to be Lin's resume. He hadn't even looked up at her which of course made Azula even more nervous. What if he'd seen it was her and rang a silent alarm? Father would come for her.

Iroh continued to look over her resume. "I must say Ms Kazai, your resume looks too good for us." He laughed. She hated to admit it, but it felt nice to hear uncle laughing again. "You're very overqualified to be a tea server. Not that there's anything wrong with the ancient art of tea serving. I myself-" Iroh froze as he finally looked up to face "Lin".

"A-Azula? My goodness," Iroh leapt out of his chair, nearly jumping over his desk. Azula winced as Iroh pulled her in for a hug. "I'm so glad you've found your way home."

"You don't… don't you all hate me?" She asked, trying her hardest not to cry. Azula wasn't a crier. Lin however… was a total sap.

"Of course not my dear," Iroh explained as he pulled away. "We were just worried that you lost your way."

"We?" Azula stepped back in fear. Was Uncle working with Father?

"Oh yes. Your brother has been looking nonstop for you. But he's had to stop his little manhunt recently." Azula gave him a confused look. "Oh yes, well there was the wedding. Oh you should've seen him, he never looked as happy as he did then." Iroh paused, giving a happy sigh as he remembered another lovely memory of his nephew. "At least that's as happy I thought he'd get. Until she-actually, what am I doing? Go see him. Please," he begged. " I promise he will love to see you. That you're safe and sound. Just go see him." Iroh turned and scribbled something down on a piece of paper. "It's his home address. It's not that far from here. Just… go see him."

Azula surprisingly didn't need much convincing to see her older brother. It was something she was terrified to do, but something she knew needed to be done. If Zuzu was going to forgive her, then she'd accept it. If he hated her, well she'd accept that too. It's nothing less than she deserved.

She stood in front of the door to Zuko's loft. She heard the faint sound of Leonard Cohen's 'Hallelujah' playing through the door. This was definitely the place. Leonard Cohen was pretty much all Mai listened to in highschool. Something about his voice and the lyrics he sang spoke to Mai. It always made Azula so bored though. Yet Zuko seemed to totally agree with her, most likely because he was still crushing on her.

"Uncle I told you that you didn't have to come over. I had it-" Zuko froze as he opened the door and saw his sister for the first time in years.

Azula was equally as frozen. Her brother actually looked great. He looked healthier than he had seen in her entire life.

"Z-" Azula didn't let Zuko finish. She pulled him tight and refused to let go. But Zuko didn't return the hug. "What are you doing here? W-where have you been?"

"I'm sorry," Azula sobbed. It hurt. She had missed her brother so much. He was always trying to be the brother he thought she deserved. But he was better than he ever thought. She didn't deserve someone like him. "I was scared. Father, he-"

"Father is gone." Zuko stepped back, away from her hold on him. "When we last spoke, I left my phone in your room because I knew father was going to do something. I didn't expect him to hurt you like that. But with his confession of what he did to me, and then the evidence that Uncle had helped father through his special contacts…" Zuko ran his hand through his hair. "I had a lot to fight for. I wanted to keep him away from everything… and after-after he forced you to run, I knew that I had to stop him from hurting anyone ever again."

"You… you stopped Father. For me?" She asked as he wiped her tears from her face.

Zuko chuckled lightly. "Only partly." He stepped aside and ushered her in. "Come in. There's a lot to discuss, but there's someone you need to see."

She assumed it was Mai as Zuko steered her towards a bedroom. Mai was probably in some brooding mood since her music was playing throughout the loft. It was spacious, and very clean, which surprised her because Zuko was a total slob growing up. It was definitely Mai that kept that place clean.

"Just be a little quiet, I just got her down for a nap." Zuko whispered as he opened one of the bedroom doors. It confused her as to why Mai would be in a different bedroom. Unless maybe it was an office space. From what she could tell, there were at least two other bedrooms. Would asking him to stay here be too much?

Zuko slowly opened the door and Azula stood mouth agape as she stared at a crib. Zuko grabbed her gently by the hand and pulled her forward, closer to the crib. Hesitantly, she stared down into it to see a plump little baby girl, deep in a slumber state. This child had to be no older than two. But that was impossible because that meant that the last time she had seen Mai, Mai was pregnant.

"Meet Izumi. Your niece." Zuko said, still holding her hand. "You still sanitize yourself like a freak?" He quietly asked her. Wordlessly, she nodded. Spirits know how many gross fingers touch the elevator buttons in a given day! Of course she had sanitized her hands after using one. Zuko then guided her hand towards Izumi's open palm.

It felt weird. Touching something so soft and gentle. It made her feel… strange. Safe? But then the baby's entire palm grabbed hold of one of her fingers and squeezed. "Aww she likes you," Zuko whispered. Azula just stood there, awestruck by her niece. Izumi's entire hand was wrapped around Azula's index finger. She was so tiny and fragile and beautiful and wonderful and loveable and…

And that's when Azula thought of her Father. This child wasn't even hers, but something inside her was telling her that this child was worthy of being loved and protected at all costs. Did Father never once think of her or Zuko like this? How could Mother only feel this way towards her other children? Azula felt the tears start to form.

"Zula? Are you okay?" Zuko grasped her shoulder and gave a reassuring squeeze before taking his phone out and taking a picture.

Shocked, Azula pulled away from Izumi. "What are you doing?"

Zuko had a goofy grin on his face. "I have to record this moment that my daughter first meets her auntie. Plus," he offered her his phone so she could see the picture. "I don't think I've ever seen you with such a genuine smile." Azula looked at the picture and honestly didn't recognize herself. This wasn't Azula, Azula didn't smile like that. No, this had to be Lin.

"Now c'mon Zula. Let's make some tea and talk. I don't want to risk waking her up. She certainly took after her auntie in the whole, running my entire life department," he teased. And Azula felt like maybe, just maybe, everything might work out.

But she still had one more loose end to tie up. And this one was going to be the hardest to face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as she loved Ty Lee, she had to start with Zuko. 
> 
> Zuko may seem a little too friendly when she returned, but that's zuko. He is just happy his sister is back.

**Author's Note:**

> So I tried to make a modern way for Azula's breakdown and redemption. It culminates from her fear of abandonment and need to be #1. Failure and rejection is not something she's used to and it's all to much. I think that with a couple of well placed traumas in her childhood (how she discovered ursa leaving, Ursa's failed suicide attempt, her confusion with her sexuality as a teen, and even the death of her cousin) this breakdown would strike suddenly and appear to be out of nowhere. 
> 
> The hard part was giving her a redemption that felt natural, and I thought the best was through a cute little bundle of joy named Izumi who only knew how to love.


End file.
